All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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