I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
