I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
