you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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