How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
