Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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