He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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