After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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