The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
