Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
