Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
