Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
