Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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