it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
