I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
