is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
