i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
