At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
