Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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