She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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