I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
