Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
