I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
