Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
