Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
