he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
