you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
