I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
