we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
