I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
