Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
