I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
