Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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