how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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