So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
