He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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