omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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