Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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