:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
