Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
