sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think i have two assholes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
