Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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