We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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