the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
