Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
