i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
