I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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