Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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