i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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