my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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