i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
